As an alternative of letting poisonous social media comparisons steal your pleasure, dealer Pam Blair writes, embrace what makes you completely different.
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“Comparability is the thief of pleasure.” — Theodore Roosevelt
It’s 6 p.m. I’m drained however joyful as I sink into my sofa. The aroma of home made pasta sauce lingers within the air. My canine and I took a protracted, sunny stroll. Each job on my calendar is checked off. It’s time to chill out.
Then, I begin scrolling.
Inside seconds, my temper plummets. A fellow agent twirls in glittering silver pants, celebrating her newest success. Out of the blue, my good day feels … much less. Did I do sufficient? Am I sufficient?
Social media works at lightning pace. A examine from MIT discovered that our brains course of photographs in simply 13 milliseconds. That’s how briskly comparability steals our pleasure.
The inevitable lure of comparability
Social comparability is hardwired into us. In 1954, psychologist Leon Festinger’s social comparability principle revealed our pure urge to guage ourselves towards others. In actual property — an trade constructed on relationships — this tendency is amplified.
There are two sorts of social comparability:
- Upward comparability: these forward of us for inspiration.
- Downward comparability: these behind us to really feel higher about ourselves.
As a lifelong overachiever, I’ve spent years measuring myself towards the very best and brightest. Typically, it fuels me. Different occasions, it drains me.
However at this time’s world has modified the sport. Social media has made comparability unavoidable, typically distorting actuality and turning what might be motivation into self-doubt.
The darkish facet of social comparability
Social media offers us curated glimpses of others’ lives, not actuality. This fixed publicity can result in what psychologists name social comparability syndrome — or as some have coined it, obsessive comparability dysfunction.
Signs embrace:
- Low shallowness
- Anxiousness and despair
- Envy and resentment
- Emotions of inadequacy
- Physique-image points
- Social isolation
Even in case you’re not an enormous scroller, societal stress is all over the place. So how will we maintain comparability from stealing our pleasure?
5 methods to handle social comparability
1. Follow the pause
Earlier than mindlessly scrolling, take a deep breath. Ask your self: Do I actually wish to go down this rabbit gap? A ten-second pause may also help you make a acutely aware alternative quite than an impulsive one.
2. Restrict social media use
Consciousness is vital. Observe how a lot time you spend scrolling. Set a timer if wanted. The purpose isn’t to eradicate social media however to regulate its influence in your mindset.
3. Be a creator, not only a shopper
I submit virtually day by day, however I restrict my scrolling to simply 5 posts. This self-discipline lets me have interaction with out being sucked into the comparability lure.
4. Follow gratitude
Comparability thrives on a not-enough mindset. Gratitude is the antidote. Write down three stuff you’re grateful for day by day. It shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have got.
5. Set objectives, and have fun wins
Clear, practical objectives maintain you grounded in your journey — not another person’s spotlight reel. I create yearly, month-to-month and day by day objectives, holding a imaginative and prescient board close by for perspective. And once I hit a milestone? I have fun — whether or not it’s a pleasant dinner or a brand new toy for my canine.
Personal your distinctive path
In an trade the place success is usually outlined by numbers, it’s simple to get caught up compared. However actual property isn’t one-size-fits-all. The great thing about this enterprise is that there are infinite methods to succeed.
As an alternative of letting comparability steal your pleasure, embrace what makes you completely different. Carry others up. Have fun your wins. And bear in mind: Your journey is yours alone.
